Often, clients are unaware that it’s possible that the high-conflict personalities in their lives (what I call HCPs for short) suffer from undiagnosed personality disorders. After reflection, many of my clients wisely choose to get off the emotional rollercoaster by ending the problematic relationship altogether, rather than deal with the situation head-on. It is important to realize that the benefits of conflict resolution extend beyond resolving disagreements, contributing significantly to personal growth, emotional well-being, and healthy relationships. Assertive communication is an essential skill for conflict resolution, as it enables you to express your needs in a respectful manner while also collaboratively resolving your disagreement with your partner. Assertiveness helps build trust and rapport with your partner, empowering your partner while enhancing your self-esteem and confidence. In addition, assertive communication minimizes stress, while ensuring your rights and boundaries are respected.
The third conflict resolution strategy is accommodation, in which you acquiesce to the other party’s needs. Use accommodating in instances where the relationship matters more than your goal. In workplace conflicts—where your goals are typically important and you care about maintaining https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/how-to-approach-a-person-who-prefers-avoiding-conflicts/ a lasting relationship with colleagues—avoidance can be detrimental. With HCPs, this means accepting that their behaviors and ways of communicating and interpreting reality will likely not change. What can change are your strategies and understanding of their personality limitations.
How confrontation can help a relationship
” With this question, you are essentially taking responsibility for your own actions first, which may have contributed to the other person’s offensive behavior. Research shows that psychological safety encourages moderate risk taking and open communication, behaviors that may be particularly difficult for conflict-avoidant employees. Fortunately, what’s good for flighters turns out to be good for everyone. Flighters might just need a little extra encouragement and support.
- Arnie Aronoff, an organizational development consultant in Chicago, uses the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument to help individuals become aware of the extent of their conflict avoidance.
- These situations are excellent opportunities to practice communication skills.
- Conflict avoidance, therefore, often leads to a larger confrontation down the road.
- In conflict we tend to remember every single thing that ever bothered us about that person.
Regardless of whether you are being a sounding board for a friend or you are dealing with your own conflict, your response to the conflict can escalate or decrease the intensity https://ecosoberhouse.com/ of the problem. To be calming, provide an objective or neutral point of view. Help plan how you are going to work with the other party to achieve resolution.
Effective Communication
If you are in a toxic work situation that is causing job stress, and it isn’t getting better, start to consider your options. While you shouldn’t have to get another job simply because your current one isn’t handling a situation very well, it may be your best option. For instance, maybe you both resolve to hear the other person’s point of view when having a disagreement, or to give the other person space when they ask for it and reconvene when they’ve cooled off. Human resources can let you know about your organization’s policies against bullying as well.
This may include only interacting on the phone for 15 minutes, limiting text messages, or even not responding to emotionally laden texts or e-mails. Disagreements on a team aren’t necessarily a bad thing. But you want to watch out for unhealthy conflicts that hijack precious time, trust, and energy. Often this type of animosity develops when there’s a “conflict entrepreneur” on your team — someone who inflames conflict for their own ends. If you find that your anxiety is severe and debilitating, self-help strategies may not be enough.
What kind of relationship do you have with your emotions?
Although you might feel like what you are doing is terrible, those on the receiving end will probably see it as a minor issue. After all, these types of interactions happen to all of us in some form every day. Also remember that the point of these exposures is to increase your ability to tolerate the conflict, and some of your actions may mildly inconvenience others. For example, don’t practice conflict exposures with someone who you fear could become overly agitated or violent. You can practice these exposures either in real life (in vivo) or in your imagination to start. Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author.
- Researchers argue that personality disorders are primarily genetic neurological conditions (Lester & Godwin, 2021) that foster negative patterns of behavior that can damage relationships.
- Be consistent and firm, but also flexible and open to feedback.
- Should you encounter resistance, consider asking someone whom the aggressor holds in high regard to assist you in an intervention.
- Compromising requires big-picture thinking and swallowing your pride, knowing you won’t get all your needs fulfilled.
- Because of the toll that ongoing conflict can exact from a person, sometimes it’s advisable to put some distance in the relationship or cut ties completely.